How generational beliefs around work and success shape us—and why true success means breaking the cycle of stress and sacrifice.
Inherited Stress and Success Mindsets
During my childhood and teenage years, I watched my parents navigate the stress of working odd hours while taking care of my sister and me. It became routine to hear about my dad taking a longer route to deliver his truckload or my mom staying at the hospital later than expected to care for a patient. Every day, they woke up in the early hours, alternating who would take us to school—until eventually, we had to take the bus. I didn’t mind; it built a sense of independence I needed to grow.
Weekends were supposed to be for “rest,” but they were mostly filled with errands, cleaning, cooking, and preparing for the week ahead. Vacations and self-care rituals were rare, but when they happened, they were meaningful—days spent at the beach, by the lake, or discovering a new restaurant. I watched my parents sacrifice their time to ensure my sister and I had fewer struggles than they did growing up. Despite their exhaustion, our home was always filled with love and care. When I was sick, my mom was there. When I needed a ride to a social event, my dad was the first to offer. Holidays were joyful, filled with gifts, laughter, and delicious food. They always made time for family, but when it came to taking care of themselves, that time was scarce. They worked so hard to make others happy that they often put themselves last.
Life throws challenges at us, many of which stem from generational “curses”—patterns shaped by societal pressures. However, my parents’ resilience and ability to keep our family dynamic strong always fascinated me. They were the strongest people I knew. But I always asked myself: When will they get to reap the fruits of their labor?
The Cost of Stress and the Illusion of Success
Stress seeps into so many areas of our lives, and when left unchecked, it manifests in ways we can’t ignore—often as sickness. There were some terrifying moments in my family’s life that made me realize just how crucial it is to slow down. Juggling everything at once is not the most effective way to “achieve” success. The rat race has us constantly chasing the cheese, living in fear of, “If I don’t have enough, what will happen?” But that fear is a societal construct—because God, the Universe, or whatever higher power you believe in does not create fear.
Fear was created by man to make us feel unworthy, to control us—whether through unjust systems, religious structures, or societal expectations. These systems were built to mislead us into aligning with pressures that have manipulated us since birth. But the truth is, abundance is our birthright. When we allow fear to dictate our choices, we drift further from our values, our higher selves, and our faith. We become enslaved to systems that keep us working endlessly with no real freedom in sight. They tell us we can “retire at 65″—but is that when life is supposed to start? Be for real.
Unlearning Sacrifice as a Requirement for Success
My parents did what they had to do with the knowledge and resources they had. Their sacrifices came from love, but I often wondered—at what cost? Many families have been misled, not because they lacked ambition, but because access to resources was intentionally suppressed. They were told that sacrifice was the only way forward.
Now, as a society, we are unlearning this, but it takes time. For generations, we’ve been programmed to believe success is only achieved through relentless hard work, often at the cost of our well-being. But who truly benefits from this mindset? The same elite figures who designed these capitalistic structures to serve their own interests.
Redefining Success on Your Own Terms
A high-paying job doesn’t always equate to success. I walked away from a lucrative position at a great company because I realized it was draining me—mentally and physically. I felt myself slowing down, experiencing ailments I shouldn’t have in my early thirties. And I wasn’t alone—I watched colleagues be hospitalized after enduring stress for years.
I made the decision to break the cycle. I walked away, not out of fear, but out of faith. I gave myself grace in stepping into the unknown, prioritizing my well-being over the illusion of stability. Not everyone can make such an abrupt shift, and I respect that. But I stand here a year later as living proof that it is possible. I’d rather have a few gray hairs than an irreversible health condition. No amount of money is worth sacrificing your well-being.
Self-Care as a Generational Shift
I love seeing younger generations embrace self-care and the “soft life” mentality. Taking care of yourself isn’t just about indulgence—it creates space for creativity, thought leadership, and a healthier way of existing.
There is no universal “right or wrong”—those are just judgmental constructs designed to control. But I do believe that prioritizing yourself aligns with our core values and our purpose. Choosing yourself isn’t selfish; it’s necessary. It sets a precedent for those who come after you.
So choose YOU. Allow yourself to truly LIVE. Life is short—but it can feel long when we live it with intention, joy, and fulfillment. 💖